Bringing a toy into a relationship isn’t about anything being “missing” — it’s about adding a new thing to enjoy together. The hardest part is usually just saying it out loud. Here’s how to start, and what to actually buy.
Breaking the ice
Keep it light and make it a “we,” not a “you.” “I saw this and thought it might be fun for us” lands a world better than anything that sounds like feedback. Browsing together — a guide like this, or the shop — takes the pressure off and turns choosing into part of the fun.
Great first toys for two
- Couples’ vibrators: worn during sex to add clitoral stimulation for one partner without getting in the way. The classic “first toy together.”
- Cock rings: simple, inexpensive, and a vibrating one adds sensation for both. A very easy yes.
- Remote or app-controlled toys: hand your partner the controls. Brilliant for playfulness, teasing, and long distance.
- Massage candles & oils: low-pressure, sensual, and a lovely way to warm up if a “toy” feels like a big first step.
Three tips for a good first time
- Talk first, gadget second. A quick “what sounds fun?” beats surprising each other in the moment.
- Keep the lube handy (see our lube guide) — it makes everything smoother, literally.
- No pressure to perform. If something’s a laugh rather than a firework, that’s a win too. Have fun with it.
Common questions
✦ What are the best sex toys for couples?
Toys you use together — vibrating rings, remote-control wearables and hands-free external toys — tend to win because they add to what you’re already doing. Browse couples’ toys.
✦ How do I bring up using toys with my partner?
Frame it as something fun to explore together, not a fix for anything. Curiosity, not criticism — pick something you’re both a little intrigued by and make it a shared choice.
✦ Will a toy replace me?
No — a toy is an extra pair of hands, not a stand-in. Most couples find it takes the pressure off and adds variety.
✦ What’s a good first couples’ toy?
A vibrating ring or a small remote-control toy is an easy, low-key start. Keep it under £30 to begin — see budget picks.