Prostate play is one of the most talked-about and least-explained corners of the shop — which is a shame, because for a lot of people it’s a revelation. Here’s the calm, practical guide: what it is, how to choose a first one, and how to actually use it without any guesswork.

The basics

The prostate is a small gland a few inches inside, towards the front of the body. Stimulating it can produce a deep, full-bodied kind of pleasure that’s quite different from anything external — which is exactly why prostate massagers exist. They’re shaped with a gentle curve to reach it comfortably, so you’re not relying on guesswork or awkward angles.

The types

• Non-vibrating massagers — you move them, or use the body’s own muscles. Simple and great for learning what you like.
• Vibrating massagers — add buzz on top of the shape. The most popular choice.
• Remote or app-controlled — hands-free, and fun with a partner at the controls.

The one feature you must not skip

A flared base. Anything that goes in must have a wide base or handle to stop it going too far — this is non-negotiable for anal toys of any kind. Every proper prostate massager has one; never improvise with something that doesn’t.

How to use one (the bit nobody tells you)

• Relax first. A warm bath, an unhurried mood and no clock. Tension is the only real obstacle.
• Lube generously, then add more. The area doesn’t self-lubricate, so a good thick water-based lube is essential — reapply freely.
• Go slow. Ease in, pause, breathe, and let your body set the pace. There’s no rush and no target.
• Clean well afterwards with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, and dry fully before storing.

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Common questions